Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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