Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
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