If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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