What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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