Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
