this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
