I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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