Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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