I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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