I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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