Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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