If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
