He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
