mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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