My room smells like vodka and shame
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
