You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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