You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
