her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
