I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
