dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
