I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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