It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
