If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
