So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
what day is it and did you see me today?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Randomize
