if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
