im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
