you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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