I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I don't think brook has ever known best
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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