im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
