you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
