I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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