I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
