He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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