Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
