So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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