I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
