I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
