i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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