So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Randomize
