I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
