a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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