I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
