Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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