girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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