Where are you?
In a non slutty way
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
