i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
