Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
