I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
