i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
