Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
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