honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
