Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
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