Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
