So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize